I Put Tomorrow’s Uniform on the Radiator and Felt Like I Was Negotiating With the Morning Before It Arrived

Dear Delyara, Maybe if the shirt is warm, the child won’t complain. Maybe if the socks are together, there won’t be panic. Maybe if the shoes are by the door, maybe if the bag is ready, maybe if the bottle is filled, maybe if I think far enough ahead, tomorrow will enter more gently than today did. I know that isn’t fully true. Still, I keep trying. I laid everything out and felt both love and tiredness moving through the same hands. That seems to be the main skill motherhood asks of me lately — to continue preparing even while knowing preparation cannot prevent everything I’m really afraid of.