I realised I had started wording my messages to be less interruptive than my actual feelings

Dear Delyara, Not because she had done something monstrous. Because I had begun managing my emotional size around her. Fewer words. Less warmth. Less risk. Less chance of arriving as someone who wanted too much, felt too much, or expected too much. That is not how closeness should feel. And when it starts to feel that way, something important has already gone missing even if the friendship still looks alive from outside. I miss the versions of connection that let me arrive at full length.