I regained custody without asking my children to forget

Dear Delyara, My children entered foster care during the worst period of my addiction. Reunification required residential treatment, drug testing, parenting classes, stable housing, supervised visits, and twelve months of consistent work. I completed every requirement, but my oldest child still did not trust me. During therapy, I learned to stop saying, “I’m different now,” and began acknowledging specific memories she carried: missed birthdays, empty cupboards, promises I broke. Last week, the court restored custody. The children moved into my apartment on Saturday. My daughter brought a packed bag she refuses to unpack because she says she may need it again. I have not pressured her. We placed it beside her bed and wrote the weekly schedule together. Recovery did not give me the right to demand that my children feel safe on the date a judge returned them. It gave me the responsibility to build enough ordinary, reliable days that one morning my daughter may unpack the bag without anyone asking.