I regret how many years I spent being understandable instead of honest

Dear Delyara, Understandable women are easier for everyone. The ones who explain, soften, wait longer, make room, absorb, forgive quickly, interpret generously, and say the “mature” thing while something in them keeps paying for all that maturity with actual life. I know that woman well. I was her for too long. Now regret visits me in these little humiliating flashes. Hearing another woman say no cleanly. Watching someone leave what I once stayed inside for years. Realising how much energy I used making myself emotionally digestible instead of simply true. I don’t only regret what other people did. I regret how long I collaborated with their comfort at my own expense. That is a painful thing to admit. It is also true.