I regret how often I made myself understandable instead of honest

Dear Delyara, I became very fluent in acceptable pain. Not that bad. Could be worse. Just stress. Just work. Just marriage. Just a phase. Just tired. Just life. Those phrases cost me years. Every time I used them, I gave people around me — and myself — permission to keep the room exactly as it was. I made my suffering legible in smaller units so it would be easier to digest. I turned my own body’s warnings into manageable language for people who benefited from me remaining manageable. I don’t just regret what happened to me. I regret how often I helped it continue by naming it too softly. That is hard to live with. It is also one of the truest things I know now.