I returned to the supermarket where my panic attacks began

Dear Delyara, My first severe panic attack happened in a supermarket checkout line. After that, I avoided large stores for nearly two years. Therapy used gradual exposure: standing outside, entering for one item, waiting briefly in a line, allowing symptoms to rise without escaping immediately. Yesterday, I went in with a list of eight things. Halfway through, dizziness began near the cereal aisle. My mind produced the old certainty that I would collapse, be trapped, embarrass myself. I sat briefly on a bench, used the breathing technique we practiced, then continued shopping. I waited in a line with four people ahead of me. My heart was still racing when I paid. The cashier asked whether I wanted a receipt. Such an ordinary question nearly made me cry. I said yes. The receipt is in my wallet now: milk, bread, apples, soap, cereal, coffee, pasta, cheese. Eight ordinary items. For two years, that building had become the border of my world. Yesterday, I entered frightened and left carrying groceries instead of proof that fear had won.