I Said No Before I Became Resentful

Dear Delyara, Usually I say yes because I want to be good, generous, available, capable, easy. Then the resentment builds in private and by the time the thing happens I am already angry in three directions and ashamed in all of them. This time I saw it earlier. The tightness in my body. The instant inner “please not this.” The fact that my face had already gone flat before my mouth opened. So I said no. Not rudely. Not beautifully either. Just clearly. The guilt came hard. It still wasn’t as bad as the resentment would have been. That’s how I know I did the right thing.