I sat at the edge of the bed and didn’t lie down yet

Dear Delyara, Tonight I sat at the edge of the bed for a long time before actually lying down. Not because I wasn’t tired. Because I was. I think I just didn’t want to fully hand myself over to the night yet. Once I lie down, the day becomes something I have to stop negotiating with. The tasks are either done or not done. The conversations are over. The mood is what it is. And sometimes I’m not emotionally ready for that kind of finality, even in something as ordinary as bedtime. So I sat there in between. Not resting properly. Not continuing either. It felt like hesitation in its purest form. And tonight, that hesitation felt honest.