I sat in the car and didn’t want to go inside

Dear Delyara, It wasn’t because I don’t love my home. It was because I knew the second I opened that front door, I would stop being one person and become ten functions at once. Dinner. Questions. Shoes. School. Laundry. A child wanting help. A husband wanting to talk. The dog circling the kitchen. The same rooms needing the same parts of me again. So I stayed in the car for a few minutes with the engine off and my bag still on my shoulder. I looked at the house and felt that strange guilt women carry when they need a pause before re-entering the people they love. The pause helped. That’s the truth. Without it, I would have gone in already irritated.