I sat in the parked car outside home and checked nothing

Dear Delyara, No messages. No emails. No bank app. No school app. Nothing. I just sat there with both hands in my lap and looked through the windscreen at my own front door. That felt far more difficult than it should have. I’m so used to filling waiting with use. If I pause, I’m supposed to reply, check, note, order, remember, prepare. But today I was too full. Work had already taken too much. Somebody’s tone had stayed under my skin. One child had texted from school with a problem. My body felt like it had been available to the world for too many hours in a row. So I sat there doing absolutely nothing. The strange thing is how emotional that felt. Not because it was profound. Because it was permission.