I Sat in the Parking Lot After Grocery Shopping

Dear Delyara, I had already finished the shopping. The bags were in the trunk. The receipt was folded in my purse. There was no practical reason left to stay. Still, I sat there. Cars pulled in and out around me, people grabbed carts, someone returned a shopping cart with a child hanging off the side, and I just stayed in the driver’s seat like I needed a buffer between public life and home life. I wasn’t relaxing exactly. I was delaying the next version of being needed. I think that’s what these little pauses are. Not laziness. Not wasting time. A woman trying to find one doorway in the day that doesn’t immediately close behind her. By the time I got home, the ice cream was starting to soften. That felt symbolic in a way I didn’t enjoy.