I sat on the bottom stair because the kitchen felt too bright

Dear Delyara, The overhead light was on, the dishwasher was open, and the whole room looked too sharp for the state I was in. I couldn’t bear standing in the middle of it another second, so I sat on the bottom stair with my back against the wall and let the house continue around me for a minute. I think this is what my life has become in small ways — finding tiny corners where I can briefly stop being the active centre of things. Not because I’m collapsing. Because I need one minute where I am not the answer. The stair was cool, the hallway dimmer, and no one asked me anything while I sat there. That was enough to keep me from crying for reasons I would not have been able to explain properly.