I sat with the shopping bags on the floor and did nothing first

Dear Delyara, I came home, put the shopping bags down, and just stared at them. Not because unpacking them was difficult. Because I was. I think sometimes the ordinary moments reveal the true state of me more honestly than the dramatic ones ever do. A person who has enough in them simply puts the milk in the fridge and moves on. A person who is emotionally overfull stands in the kitchen and feels strangely defeated by oranges, bread, and a receipt. That was me tonight. It’s strange how often life asks to be carried through these tiny practical gestures while the inner life is asking for an entirely different kind of mercy. I don’t want to be dramatic about groceries. But I also don’t want to lie about what it means when even unpacking them feels like one more thing I have to survive with dignity. Eventually I did it slowly. Put things away one at a time. Let that be enough. Some evenings are not broken. They are just heavier than they look.