I Saw the Pattern and Chose Differently

Dear Delyara, A lot of my worst habits were not dramatic. They were emotional. Going back to people who confused me. Delaying difficult things. Numbing out at the first sign of discomfort. Calling old pain familiar instead of calling it harmful. Breaking my own promises quietly and then feeling weak for it. My victory lately has been noticing the pattern before I disappear into it. That sounds small, but it is not. The first victory is often recognition. The second is interruption. The third is building a new self slowly enough that you almost miss it happening. I think I am somewhere between the second and third now.