I signed the consent form my sister begged me not to sign

Dear Delyara, My sister was unconscious after a brain hemorrhage. The surgeon said operating offered a small chance of survival but carried a high risk of severe disability. Her written directive was unclear, and I was the person authorized to decide. I signed. She survived. She now needs full-time care, cannot speak, and communicates inconsistently by blinking. Before the hemorrhage, she had once told me during a casual conversation, “If I ever end up trapped in my body, don’t let them keep me there.” I remembered that sentence while holding the pen. I signed anyway because I could not authorize her death with our mother standing beside me. Mum calls me brave for saving her. Sometimes my sister looks directly at me for a long time, and I do not know what she is saying. Gratitude? Recognition? Anger? I have learned enough about her care to understand that nobody can answer. The doctors say outcome cannot be judged by one imagined conversation from years ago. At night, I hear that conversation more clearly than anything they tell me now. I chose survival for her because I could not survive choosing otherwise. I do not know whether that was love or cowardice.