I slept in a room with the door closed

Dear Delyara, After childhood abuse, I had not slept with a closed bedroom door for twenty-seven years. Even hotel rooms required furniture placed against the door and lights left on. In trauma therapy, we worked without forcing the goal. First, I sat beside an open door. Then halfway closed. Then fully closed for ten seconds while awake. My husband never pushed me. He installed a lock I could control and practised leaving the hallway light on until I was ready. Last night, I closed the door and got into bed. My heart raced for almost an hour. I named the date, the house, my age, and every sound I could hear. Eventually, I slept. When I woke, sunlight was entering beneath the door. Nothing had entered during the night. I opened it myself. The victory was not proving that doors are harmless. Doors can hide terrible things; I know that. The victory was teaching my body that this door belonged to me and I controlled when it opened.