I Smiled All Day Because I Didn't Want Anyone Asking Questions

Dear Delyara, If you saw me during the daytime meetings this afternoon, you would have thought I was completely on top of the world. I laughed at the jokes, kept my posture perfect, and maintained this bright, energetic smile during the entire brand presentation. But the truth is, I was completely empty inside. I forced that smile onto my face like a heavy piece of armor because I am so utterly exhausted, and I knew that if the smile slipped even for a second, someone would ask, "Are you okay?" And I don’t have an answer to that question. I can’t tell them that I’m drowning under the weight of this double life, or that my physical body is screaming for rest. It’s easier to perform happiness for twelve hours than to try and explain a sadness that you don't even fully understand yourself.