I smiled through the school gate chat and felt completely absent from myself

Dear Delyara, The usual subjects. Clubs. Reading books. Weather. Packed lunches. A teacher everyone had a mild opinion about. I responded at the right moments, laughed once where it was expected, even contributed something that sounded normal enough to pass. Inside, I was nowhere near that conversation. Work was still under my skin. Money was moving through the back of my mind. I was worrying about one child, half-frustrated with my husband, physically tired, emotionally crowded, and already dreading what had to happen before bedtime. It struck me suddenly how often adult life asks women to remain socially legible while privately disintegrating in completely uninteresting ways. No one would have guessed. That is part of the problem.