I Softened Myself Too Many Times

Dear Delyara, That is one of the truths regret keeps bringing back to me. I softened my tone. Softened my needs. Softened my pain. Softened my anger. Softened the truth so it would fit more easily in rooms that did not deserve the courtesy of my self-reduction. And every time I did that, I thought I was being mature. Sometimes I was. Sometimes I was simply making it easier for others to continue not seeing the full size of what was happening to me. That hurts to admit. Because it means I participated in my own disappearance in ways I did not fully understand at the time. Now I do. And the clarity is not gentle.