I sounded calmer than I felt

Dear Delyara, If someone had recorded my voice today, they would probably think I was doing quite well. That’s one of the strangest things about adulthood for me — how much emotional weather can be hidden inside a very ordinary tone. I answered clearly. I spoke politely. I did not sound distressed. But internally, I could feel how thin my emotional skin had become by the afternoon. I think some of us get so good at containment that even we start mistrusting our own pain if it doesn’t look dramatic enough from the outside. Today was harder than I sounded. I want to at least say that somewhere honestly.