I Stayed for the Whole Evening

Dear Delyara, Tonight I stayed present for the whole evening. That is not something I could always do. There was a time when I needed something — a drink, a habit, a distraction, a chemical exit — to make myself easier to tolerate. Being fully present inside my own life felt too sharp. Recovery has changed that slowly, not by making life painless, but by making me more able to remain in it honestly. I still miss the shortcut sometimes. But I miss myself less now.