I stayed in the bathroom longer than I needed to

Dear Delyara, Tonight I stood in the bathroom for no real reason after washing my face. I looked at myself in the mirror, then looked away, then back again. I think I was avoiding the next part of the evening. The part where everything gets quiet enough for my real thoughts to come forward. During the day, I can move fast enough to stay ahead of them. But night is different. Night waits. Nothing terrible happened today. That almost makes the heaviness worse. I don’t have an event to explain it with. Just this private weight that makes simple things feel harder than they should. I wish I knew how to tell people that sadness is not always loud. Sometimes it is just one person standing in a bathroom too long because they don’t want to return to their own mind yet.