I still appear more intact than I feel

Dear Delyara, That gap is one of the hardest parts. I know how to sound normal, show up, do enough, keep the structure alive. So from the outside, I can still look much more functional than I feel internally. That makes it easy for other people to underestimate the depletion — and easy for me to underestimate it too. But the depletion is real. Even without collapse. Even without spectacle. I don’t want to require spectacle before I call something serious anymore.