I still ask the body to cooperate with denial

Dear Delyara, I know that sentence is harsh. It is also true. I keep expecting the body to act like a good employee — stay quiet, keep up, don’t interrupt the schedule, wait until the timing is better, don’t become inconvenient until life is more manageable. As if it should respect deadlines more than limits. I know this isn’t kindness. I know this is not wisdom. And still, I repeat it. The body whispers and I negotiate. It signals and I translate it into “later.” It asks and I counter with obligations. I’m tired of living like my physical reality is something to be reasoned down until it becomes undeniable enough to win. That is not care. That is compliance training turned inward. And I think I learned it too well.