I still become defensive too quickly

Dear Delyara, There are certain questions from my parents that seem ordinary on the surface and yet wake up something old in me almost instantly. How’s work? What’s the plan? Are you sure? Why did you do it that way? Have you thought about…? Sometimes it’s not the question. It’s the history underneath the question. The long accumulation of feeling judged, managed, misunderstood, or emotionally translated into something more convenient than the truth. I become defensive too quickly and then feel guilty about it afterward. That cycle is exhausting. I’m old enough to understand them more now. That doesn’t always stop my body from reacting first.