I still become more careful than I want to be around them

Dear Delyara, That change happens quickly. I notice it in the voice first. Then in the amount I reveal. Then in how much cushioning I start putting around ordinary statements. Not because anything terrible is happening necessarily. Because family activates old timing, old caution, old muscle memory around what it costs to be too direct, too emotional, too unguarded. Love is there. History is louder than I want it to be. That combination leaves me tired every time.