I still become too careful around one side of the family

Dear Delyara, My voice changes. I explain more. I soften my opinions before I finish them. I try to sound reasonable, calm, easy, not too emotional, not too firm, not too different. It’s exhausting. The strange thing is, nobody has to openly attack me for this to happen. Sometimes it is only the atmosphere, or one kind of tone, or the old memory of not being understood in that space. My body remembers before my mind decides. Then I come home feeling tired in a way that doesn’t match the actual length of the visit. That tiredness is real. It comes from shrinking.