I still brace before certain conversations

Dear Delyara, Even now, I can feel myself prepare before certain conversations with my parents. Not because they always go badly. Because enough of them used to go in ways that taught my body not to arrive open. So I brace. I think ahead. I choose words carefully. I monitor tone. I become less spontaneous before I even know if it will be necessary. That preparation is tiring in a way that doesn’t show. I don’t think people talk enough about the labor of entering familiar relationships with your nervous system already half-guarded.