I still cannot wear anything around my neck

Dear Delyara, My former partner strangled me during the final assault before I left. That was nine years ago. The bruises disappeared in weeks. I still cannot wear necklaces, scarves, turtlenecks, even a lanyard at work for long. Pressure around my neck makes my vision narrow. My current boyfriend gave me a necklace for my birthday. It is delicate and beautiful. He does not know the full details of what happened. I put it on at dinner because I wanted to be normal. Ten minutes later, I locked myself in the bathroom and tore it off so quickly the clasp scratched my skin. I told him I had an allergic reaction. He offered to exchange it. I said yes. Now he is searching for another necklace. I keep almost telling him not to. The trauma feels ridiculous when reduced to jewelry. The man who hurt me is gone from my life. Yet his hands still decide what can touch my throat.