I still carry old shame into ordinary mistakes

Dear Delyara, Forget a form, miss a text, say the wrong thing, need more rest, get overwhelmed, spend too much, feel too much, and immediately some old familiar shame arrives like it had been waiting around the corner for exactly that. That’s what I’m tired of. Not only the mistake. The speed with which shame starts telling me what it means about who I am. Nothing stays small when old shame gets hold of it. A missed message becomes selfishness. A bad day becomes failure. A need becomes weakness. A limit becomes inadequacy. I know better than that when I am rested. When I’m low, the old voice still sounds smarter than it is.