I still expect certain hurts before they happen

Dear Delyara, One of the ways old wounds still live in me is expectation. I expect withdrawal. Misunderstanding. Being too much. Being not enough. Being misread. Being left to manage the emotional mess quietly by myself. These expectations enter the room before reality does. That’s what makes them so difficult. They don’t always respond to the current moment. Sometimes they respond to history wearing the current moment’s clothes. I am tired of old pain forecasting my life in advance.