I still feel ashamed when ordinary things cost too much

Dear Delyara, It isn’t only big expenses that get to me. Sometimes it’s shampoo. A school payment. A pair of tights. A packed lunch item. A prescription. Some small normal cost that shouldn’t feel like a moral challenge and somehow still does. I hate how quickly money can turn me inward and make me feel less generous, less expansive, less like the woman I would be if I had room to breathe. I start subtracting from myself first. That’s what hurts most. The speed with which my own comfort becomes the first thing I cut. I know how common this is. That does not make it less humiliating inside my own body.