I still feel guilty for needing more recovery than I used to

Dear Delyara, Age, life, pressure, grief, work, family — all of it has changed the shape of my system. Things that once rolled off me now stay longer. Noise takes more. Conflict lingers more. Overstimulation arrives earlier. My threshold is not what it was ten years ago. And still, some part of me holds me to an older standard. It says I should cope with the same speed, recover with the same ease, carry the same loads without this much visible effect. When I cannot, guilt steps in. I think I am mourning my old resilience while also resenting the new tenderness I have. That’s a difficult combination to live inside.