I still feel guilty when I protect my energy

Dear Delyara, I said no to something today because I genuinely didn’t have the capacity, and still guilt arrived immediately. That tells me something. It tells me that some old part of me still believes goodness means availability. That saying yes makes me kind, and saying no, even thoughtfully, makes me difficult or disappointing or selfish in a way I should feel uneasy about. I know all the healthy language around boundaries. I know the theory. The emotional reality in my body is still catching up.