I still feel guilty when I rest before I’m visibly falling apart

Dear Delyara, It’s as if some internal panel of judges wants proof. Evidence. Symptoms everyone would agree count. Only then does rest start sounding justified in my own head. If I step back early, guilt calls it avoidance. If I wait until I’m obviously wrecked, then suddenly it becomes understandable. That is such a destructive rule. I know it is. And yet I still feel it. I want to become someone who can respond kindly to earlier signs without treating those signs like weak evidence in a case I am trying to lose.