I still feel like I have to stay easy to be safe

Dear Delyara, Easy to talk to. Easy to be around. Easy to understand. Easy to forgive. Easy to manage. Easy enough that no one turns harsh too quickly. That pattern still lives in me more than I want to admit. I know it was learned for reasons. I know it made sense somewhere. But now it leaves me tired, over-explaining, and far too willing to trim my own truth to keep the room from becoming difficult. That is not peace. That is survival wearing a nice face. I’m tired of being easy at the cost of being whole.