I still feel sorrow for the self who thought that was enough

Dear Delyara, The regret is not only about the event. It’s about the self who lived inside it and called it acceptable. The self who settled. Who made excuses. Who thought confusion was intimacy and patience was a substitute for being properly met. Who adjusted downward because wanting more felt too risky. I know I need compassion for that version of me. But some nights what comes first is sorrow. Sorrow that she did not know how much more was allowed to exist.