I still go quiet to survive family rooms

Dear Delyara, There are certain family situations where I can feel myself getting smaller in real time. I stop saying what I actually think. I become agreeable more quickly. I let comments pass that I would challenge anywhere else. I even hear my laugh change. It’s embarrassing to admit that, because I am not a child anymore and these are not huge dramatic scenes. But old family patterns do not need drama to stay powerful. Sometimes they only need one tone, one look, one kind of disappointment. Then later I come home and feel angry with myself for disappearing again in a room where I know exactly what is happening. That anger sits beside the sadness every single time.