I Still Go Small

Dear Delyara, One wrong tone from a parent and I can feel it happen. My body changes before my mind has even caught up. I explain more. Defend more. Shrink more. Become younger in ways that embarrass me because I know better and still feel it anyway. That is what hurts most, I think. Not only that certain words still sting. That they sting with old power. I can be capable all day, and then one conversation can leave me feeling like a smaller version of myself for hours afterward. That is humiliating in a very private way. I wish adulthood had cured that. It hasn’t.