I still grieve how little I thought I was allowed to ask for

Dear Delyara, The event is not the only grief. The belief is too. I grieve the self who thought that less was safer, that confusion was normal, that wanting more would make her difficult, needy, unrealistic, or ungrateful. I can feel tenderness for her sometimes. Other times I mostly feel sorrow for how much she reduced herself in order to survive. That sorrow is still alive in me. Not every day. But enough.