I still grieve the self who kept settling downward

Dear Delyara, There are regrets that hurt because of what happened. Mine often hurt because of what I accepted. The smaller standard. The reduced desire. The mistaken belief that less was what I could ask for without becoming difficult or unsafe or disappointed beyond repair. I know that self deserves compassion. And still, sorrow arrives first some nights. Sorrow that she thought downward was the safest direction. Sorrow that she lived there so long.