I still introduce myself as a dancer

Dear Delyara, When people ask what I do, I still say I am a dancer. I have not performed in nine years. A knee injury ended my place in the company, and surgery did not restore enough movement for professional work. I now coordinate bookings for a hotel. My body spends eight hours behind a desk, but when music begins in the lobby, every part of me still counts. Last week, a guest recognized me from an old performance and asked where I dance now. I said I was between projects. At home, I opened the box containing my shoes. The leather has hardened. One ribbon still carries makeup from the final night I performed. I have been “between projects” for nearly a decade because saying I used to be a dancer feels like declaring the person dead while she is still inside my muscles. I teach no classes. I attend no rehearsals. I avoid other dancers because their bodies continue the life mine abandoned. My job pays the bills. My name tag says Guest Services. My mouth still says dancer before reality has time to correct it.