I still keep my law books after failing the bar exam seven times

Dear Delyara, I finished law school twelve years ago. I have failed the bar exam seven times. Seven. At first, people encouraged me. After the third, advice became quieter. By the fifth, relatives stopped asking. I work as a legal assistant now. I prepare documents for attorneys younger than me and occasionally correct their research. My law books remain on two shelves in my apartment. My girlfriend wants the space for storage and asked gently whether I still need them. I said yes too quickly. I have not registered for another exam. I do not know if I ever will. Throwing the books away feels like admitting the title will never come. Keeping them makes the apartment feel like a waiting room for a future that may already have passed. Last week, a new attorney asked which law school I attended. When I answered, she said, “Oh, so you’re planning to qualify?” I smiled and said, “Eventually.” That word has been doing more work than I have for years.