I still move, but not always from desire

Dear Delyara, That’s the difference I’m feeling more and more. Movement is still there. Discipline is still there. Continuation is still there. But desire — the bright internal pull — is less reliable. Some things I pursue now feel more like momentum than longing. More like keeping shape than moving toward something lit from the inside. That unsettles me because it makes success feel more ambiguous than I once imagined. I miss cleaner wanting. I don’t know how else to say it.