I still revisit the same version of who I used to be

Dear Delyara, The regret is not only about what happened. It is about who I was while it was happening. The version of me who tolerated too much. Who ignored instincts. Who settled for less. Who called fear maturity. Who confused emotional hunger with love. Who made certain decisions from a place that now feels painfully small. I know I need compassion for that person. Some days I have it. Other days I mostly feel embarrassed. That fluctuation is its own kind of grief.