I still revisit the self who made the choice, not just the choice itself

Dear Delyara, I think that’s what keeps some regrets alive. Not the event alone. The self behind it. The loneliness she had. The fear she was carrying. The smallness she had accepted. The reasons she told herself something was enough when it wasn’t. I know that self deserves compassion. And still, some nights all I feel first is sorrow that she had so little room inside herself for wanting more. That sorrow is not finished in me yet.