I still rush to make myself understandable before anyone has misunderstood me

Dear Delyara, That’s one of the more subtle ways old hurt still shapes me. I explain too much too early. I clarify before the need exists. I soften my own edges to protect against an imagined misreading. Some part of me still believes that if I can present myself carefully enough, I can avoid the old pain of being judged unfairly or handled roughly. It doesn’t always work. It does always cost something. Mostly it costs spontaneity. The freedom to let a sentence stand before I start defending it.