I still spend too much life preparing for futures that never arrive

Dear Delyara, That is one of the most exhausting truths about me. I can lose a whole evening to a tomorrow that never comes. Not literally tomorrow — the imagined version. The feared version. The one where things go badly, people pull away, something fails, a conversation lands wrong, a decision backfires. I emotionally pre-live so much pain that reality sometimes arrives to find me already depleted. It feels like vigilance. It is theft. I’m tired of paying for futures I never actually have to inhabit.