I still tell people “it’s okay” before I have checked if it is

Dear Delyara, Something lands badly, someone interrupts, someone disappoints me, something stings, and before my own body has had a proper vote I hear myself saying, “It’s okay.” Sometimes I mean it. Too often I mean, please let this stay manageable while I sort out the damage privately later. I understand where that habit came from. That doesn’t make living with it less exhausting. Because then I have to go back and find my own reaction after the room has already moved on. And that is such a lonely little archaeology.