I still treat unanswered things as if they are already leaning against me

Dear Delyara, A test result not back yet. An email unanswered. A conversation pending. A weird symptom. A form not yet confirmed. Nothing has happened, and yet it already feels as if something is pressing on me. I don’t wait beside uncertainty. I wait under it. That is what makes anxiety so exhausting. It turns possibility into weight before reality has officially arrived. By the time anything concrete happens, I have already lived under multiple imagined versions of it and paid for all of them emotionally. I know this pattern. I still get caught in it.